Apple’s lawsuit against HTC made one thing clear: Steve. Jobs. Will. Cut You. And with all the patents they’ve got? Nobody’s safe. Here’s who’s next on the subpoena warpath: Patent #8 ,567,301: A Process to Cryogenically Microbead Pasteurized Dairy Defendant: Dippin’ Dots Patent #5 ,475,939: Inexpensive Self-Assembled Home Furnishings With Names That Sound Like Lesser Norse Gods Defendant: Ikea Patent #6 ,374,752: Constructing an Opulent Hyper-Futuristic City Without Having the Resources to Maintain It Defendant: Dubai Patent #3 ,405,356: Music Composition Utilizing Three Chords In Sequence and Repetitive Anti-Establishment Lyrics Defendants: Joey Ramone; Iggy Pop; Johnny Rotten; et al Patent #2 ,366,291: How a Bill Becomes a Law Defendants: Congressional and Executive Branches of US Government; “School House Rock” Patent #4 ,769,002: Placing “I” Before “E” (Excepting Those Occasions In Which Preceded By “C” Or When Phonetically Comparable to “A”) Defendants: Strunk and White; My Third Grade Homeroom Teacher; the English Language Patent #9 ,753,482: Achieving Fame Despite Lack of Discernable Talent or Drive Defendants: Paris Hilton, Spencer Pratt, the Cast of “Tool Academy,” et al Patent #1 ,749,682: Dogs Defendants: Dogs